Nuuukes Innn Spaaaace!
We and our fellow children of the Cold War honed our paranoia on thoughts of nuclear annihilation. And even though today's kids fear suitcase nuke-weilding Islamic terrorists, it turns out that those damn Ruskies may still wind up being the ones responsible for Atomic Armageddon. How? Filthy nuclear-powered satellites, that's how. Apparently there are no emissions laws in space.
Forget about those errant asteroids -- the threat from space is much closer.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
We Can't Believe They Have a Suggestion Box
Another one from the folks at The Memory Hole: Blank copies of forms used by the FBI. Among the highlights, the radio interference form, the Authority to Release Medical/Mental Health Information, and the aforementioned Employee Suggestion form.
We don't know if the current director of the FBI is as crazy as J. Edgar Hoover, but one thing we do know: he's drowning in paperwork.
Another one from the folks at The Memory Hole: Blank copies of forms used by the FBI. Among the highlights, the radio interference form, the Authority to Release Medical/Mental Health Information, and the aforementioned Employee Suggestion form.
We don't know if the current director of the FBI is as crazy as J. Edgar Hoover, but one thing we do know: he's drowning in paperwork.
Warrents are for Pussies
Parents have traditionally told their children that policemen were their friends. Of course, judging from our own experiences, the last group of people on whose judgement your Constitutional rights should rely are your friends. (We have the scars from several ill-advised road-trips to attest to this.)
Well, thanks to a recent court decision a police officer's judgement is now good enough to allow him to search your premisis without a warrent. Now, you might be one of those people who hide behind that, "You've got nothing to worry about if you're innocent," nonsense. In that case you should just pray that American cops are more honest than Austrailian ones. Imagine cops with the same ability to storm your home or office as Scientology's lawyers. It's that scary.
On the other hand, Paranoia would like to know where the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals got its copy of the Constitution -- you know, just in case we want to wipe our asses on it too.
Parents have traditionally told their children that policemen were their friends. Of course, judging from our own experiences, the last group of people on whose judgement your Constitutional rights should rely are your friends. (We have the scars from several ill-advised road-trips to attest to this.)
Well, thanks to a recent court decision a police officer's judgement is now good enough to allow him to search your premisis without a warrent. Now, you might be one of those people who hide behind that, "You've got nothing to worry about if you're innocent," nonsense. In that case you should just pray that American cops are more honest than Austrailian ones. Imagine cops with the same ability to storm your home or office as Scientology's lawyers. It's that scary.
On the other hand, Paranoia would like to know where the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals got its copy of the Constitution -- you know, just in case we want to wipe our asses on it too.
Turn Down Your Lights (Where Applicable)
Carrying on the tradition of such paranoid television highlights as In Search Of, The Men Who Killed Kennedy, and that one Hillary Clinton interview (she did us all proud, mostly because she was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT), comes this latest entry from TechTV. Tomorrow they will debut the creatively titled program (I know, we should talk) Conspiracies. Their first episode poses this question: Do secret societies really run the world? In a word, (spoiler alert!): Yes.
What do we here at Paranoia think about this? Well, considering the number of people required to produce a television show of even the smallest magnitude, it's difficult to believe that the hidden forces in control of the world haven't gotten to at least one of them. Also, since this blog predates the show (admittedly, only by about three days) we say: Amateurs!
Besides, even though we take things like secret societies and demonic control of major corporations very seriously, our primary goal is to point out real news about things that should terrify you. Like the ongoing passive surveillance that is often called by its more popular code name: Personalization. In fact, Google has announced an increase in their "personalized" services.
Remember: The more information that is collected about you, the more there is to subpoena.
Carrying on the tradition of such paranoid television highlights as In Search Of, The Men Who Killed Kennedy, and that one Hillary Clinton interview (she did us all proud, mostly because she was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT), comes this latest entry from TechTV. Tomorrow they will debut the creatively titled program (I know, we should talk) Conspiracies. Their first episode poses this question: Do secret societies really run the world? In a word, (spoiler alert!): Yes.
What do we here at Paranoia think about this? Well, considering the number of people required to produce a television show of even the smallest magnitude, it's difficult to believe that the hidden forces in control of the world haven't gotten to at least one of them. Also, since this blog predates the show (admittedly, only by about three days) we say: Amateurs!
Besides, even though we take things like secret societies and demonic control of major corporations very seriously, our primary goal is to point out real news about things that should terrify you. Like the ongoing passive surveillance that is often called by its more popular code name: Personalization. In fact, Google has announced an increase in their "personalized" services.
Remember: The more information that is collected about you, the more there is to subpoena.
You're Surrounded
No, they didn't get us. We are completely surveillance-chip-free; we know this thanks to our handy-dandy stud finder. We don't necessarily believe in alien abduction, but better safe than sorry. We're advocates for rational paranoia, but it would be foolish to say that it's possible to be over-cautious.
For example, most paranoiacs know that everyone is out to get them. But what if the conspiracy goes beyond that? One of the world's many lit-bloggers has stumbled upon an even more terrifying notion: Inanimate objects are conspiring to TAKE YOU DOWN. She even links to incontrovertible proof.
No, they didn't get us. We are completely surveillance-chip-free; we know this thanks to our handy-dandy stud finder. We don't necessarily believe in alien abduction, but better safe than sorry. We're advocates for rational paranoia, but it would be foolish to say that it's possible to be over-cautious.
For example, most paranoiacs know that everyone is out to get them. But what if the conspiracy goes beyond that? One of the world's many lit-bloggers has stumbled upon an even more terrifying notion: Inanimate objects are conspiring to TAKE YOU DOWN. She even links to incontrovertible proof.
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Seat of Fear
A good paranoiac fears many things. Some of those fears are vague, and some are very specific. Some of these fearsome things are little things we deal withevery single day.
The CIA is a popular favorite for paranoia. Hey, they're a shadowy organization that deals in secrets. They claim they're not allowed to operate within the borders of the United States. If that's true, then maybe we should think twice before leaving the country. Unless you want to be monitered by the robotic fish, seen in this tour of the CIA spy museum.
Sure, you don't have to click on the link. But if you don't, you'll miss your only chance to get a look inside the CIA spy museum -- it's not open to the public. Yes, you paid for it. No, you still can't go.
A good paranoiac fears many things. Some of those fears are vague, and some are very specific. Some of these fearsome things are little things we deal withevery single day.
The CIA is a popular favorite for paranoia. Hey, they're a shadowy organization that deals in secrets. They claim they're not allowed to operate within the borders of the United States. If that's true, then maybe we should think twice before leaving the country. Unless you want to be monitered by the robotic fish, seen in this tour of the CIA spy museum.
Sure, you don't have to click on the link. But if you don't, you'll miss your only chance to get a look inside the CIA spy museum -- it's not open to the public. Yes, you paid for it. No, you still can't go.
What Do They Know?
Quite a lot actually. When you call customer service, they can see your account information, which, depending on which company you're talking to, can include your credit card number. They have to have access to this information in order to do their job. They also probably are in a foriegn country.
And sometimes, they get uppity. And they have access to your private information. Ok, foriegners aren't necessarily less trustworthy than Americans. But given our president's inept foriegn policy there's no telling which countries are going to suddenly turn around and start hating America. And we are willingly giving them all of our secret information.
Do Indians hate America? Well, one of them does. Here's a letter that appeared in this month's issue of Wired:
Do you feel safe? You're not. He's got your credit card number. And he wants vengence.
Quite a lot actually. When you call customer service, they can see your account information, which, depending on which company you're talking to, can include your credit card number. They have to have access to this information in order to do their job. They also probably are in a foriegn country.
And sometimes, they get uppity. And they have access to your private information. Ok, foriegners aren't necessarily less trustworthy than Americans. But given our president's inept foriegn policy there's no telling which countries are going to suddenly turn around and start hating America. And we are willingly giving them all of our secret information.
Do Indians hate America? Well, one of them does. Here's a letter that appeared in this month's issue of Wired:
As a former Amazon.com software developer, I'm glad the IT industry has shifted to India ("The New Face of the Silicon Age," Wired 12.02). Apparently, Americans think that getting an H-1B visa is a snap. I slaved for eight months and lived with the fear that if I wasn't given a visa, I would have to leave the US. This after having spent four years and $120,000 at on e of America's top universities. In the end, I was downsized. I returned to New Delhi, and I guess I've since swiped at least 10 Americans' jobs. Fitting revenge if you ask me.
Do you feel safe? You're not. He's got your credit card number. And he wants vengence.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)